14. INZs

You may be wondering what an INZ is. Well it is an affliction that strikes many people every day, of course. You probably just didn't know that it was called an INZ. In fact, I didn't know it was called an INZ until just a few minutes ago when I sat down to write this post and raise awareness about this terrible, terrible condition. You see, a friend of mine (we'll call her Schmatie), has one of these as we speak. And even though I haven't told Schmatie I think this, I think her infestation of INZs are getting worse. That's right folks, Inner Nose Zits are taking over the hairy lining of my friend's nose. Why is this happening? Science does not have the answer. But if you ask her, Schmatie will tell you that there is an evil booger growing in her nose. She can't smell. She can't even blow her nose. The pain is too great. She can't even do lines of cocaine anymore. And during the holidays, too. It's just too much for Schmatie to bear . . . and I don't think that I can just sit back and let this happen. So I am demanding that a crazy scientist or the government develop a nasal spray that would act like a pesticide and crop dust the crap out of the things that cause INZs - zoogers. Zoogers are boogers that turn into zits. Maybe they migrate into the nose skin from the inside, I don't know. I'm just spitballing here. But they must be eradicated. Oh yes, they must be.

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