Toes are weird. I think we can all agree on that. They don't really do too much, and they really are just these little nubbins that protrude awkwardly out of our feet. For some people toes are a large concern because they have ugly knobby little toes. Have you ever seen these people? They are the people that walk around at a pool and you try not to step where they have in case their ugly toe disease is contagious. True story. What? You don't do that? Neither do I....But really, what is the point of the toe? All they do is trap your sock lint and get painfully cold in the winter. Remind me again why I signed up for these puppies? And why oh why do we have nails on our toes? Now I understand the reason why we have fingernails - we need to pull tape off of things and, if you're a girl, you need to pull the price tags off of gifts. But toenails are yet another way for you to turn into a freak. What if your toenails make you look like you have claws for feet? You definitely couldn't be a barefoot bandit. No sir. The people you rob would hear you coming from a mile away as you clack-clack-clack all through their house. There are far too many ways for you to look like a weirdy and have other people hide their children from you.
Ok. Seriously I don't really have words to say except for, I think toes are there for us so we can maintain our BALANCE. I have a friend who lost her pinky toe and she had to re-learn how to walk because her balance was all off. Secondly, we have nails on our toes so we can paint them... you should really think about getting a pedicure. It is surely one of the best things life has to offer. And don't feel gay getting one. Boys do it all the time. Just don't get a color... or do. Whatever, no judgments. Also my favoritest part of this WHOLE entire post is when you said the word "weirdy" except you spelled it wrong. It's "weirdie." You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteI...I...I..........you win.
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