2. Rolly Bags

Apparently I am the only human being alive that does not rolly bag it up at the airport. I stick with my old staple - the duffel bag. Don't get me wrong, I understand the appeal of a rolly bag. They roll, and that's pretty cool. But now there are more than just the regular ol' tilt and roll bags. Now there is the coveted quad roller. Holy moly it's rolly. You don't even need to bother gripping it with your chunky hands and tilting. No sir. You basically shun any part of rolling a bag that can be considered exercise in favor of looking like a genius you're lazy.

Now as many of my dear readers know, I am often in airports. And when I'm there, I definitely notice how much better I am than all of these rolly bag people. I mean, I get to see sides of airports that most other people don't. My duffel bag awkwardly smacks into my thighs every time I walk, making me walk slightly diagonally across the concourse. This ensures that I get to see more of the airport  because when I get to close to the wall on the right, I just switch my bag over to the other side and start step-SMACK!-stepping across the concourse to the wall on the left. Lather, rinse, repeat. It really is a delightful way to get to know all the different airports.

On the flip side though, it does make me a target for those golf carts that carry around old people who part their hair. Since I cut a wide swath across traffic with my duffel bag, I always get in the way of the golf carts who beep at me mercilessly. I hope they get a flat tire.

In conclusion, I'm not jealous of your rolly bag at all. I'm sure you love not being able to see all the stray boogers and goldfish that line the walls at some airports (*cough*Charlotte*cough*), but seeing the world is what traveling is all about. And I'm sure you love getting home from your travels without battered legs and an awkward, stilted walk. But no pain, no gain, people. Look at Forrest Gump. He killed it after walking weird. So count me out of the rolly bag deal. I hope I never get one for Christmas.